I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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