Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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