He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
