I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
