Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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