I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
