I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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