have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
