Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
