I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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