dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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