I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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