This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
