ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
