Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
