Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
