I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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