She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
