I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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