Already got asked if we're dating
1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Randomize
