escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize