Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
