so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
