Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
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Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
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