If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
