New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
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its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
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Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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