you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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