Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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