Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
either way he was missing a nipple.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
