to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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