Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
