this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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