I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
