Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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