I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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