Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
