Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
