I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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