she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
