is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
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I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
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And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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