I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
