where does the pee come out of this thing
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
