If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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