you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
