Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
