I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
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How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
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