I'm really into asian looking animals
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
