He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
