I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
