Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
So vagazzling was a success
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
