remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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