Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you win again, gameday.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
