I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
