I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize
