He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
The adults are the big ones right?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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