well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
