I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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