This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
