This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
