Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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